Live Life Abundantly

The great comparison between a couch and a Macbook Pro

2011-09-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

At dinner tonight, I witnessed what many people would call a "nice try" or "a valient effort". My roommate tried to talk a friend, who is a PC guy 100% , to switch to a Mac. It felt like I was sitting in the middle of a failed attempt at an infomercial.

"Think of it this way, Fiz. You see that couch over there?" As she pointed to our couch in the livingroom. "Well, think of that couch as your PC. You're comfortable. You love the couch. To the ordinary PC person, the couch is familiar to the bottom. However, think about the most comfortable thing you could ever imagine. Like a love sac.."

"I don't really like love sacs..." He says.

"Ok, well imagine a modern, new, sleek couch. It has all of the installations. Faster wifi access, more user friendly, sleeker looking." She says to him. "And a built in cooler!" Our other roommate added. We all laughed at that remark.

"Well, that's all fine and good. But what's the point of switching if I don't really care what I use?" Fiz said to Haley. This had her stumped, and the conversation drifted away.

About five minutes later Haley bursts out saying, "A Mac would help you get the ladies!!"

All of us started laughing. It was too hilarious! "Well, there's no arguing with that logic!" Fiz agreed, and with that, she had him convinced.

If Apple ever reads this, they should really consider hiring Haley as a sales rep! :)

Everyday Heroes

2011-09-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, something miraculous and terrible occurred.

A young man on a motorcycle was heading East towards Logan canyon. At the same moment, a person driving a black BMW, was pulling out of the southern parking lot across the street from campus. The person driving the BMW did not see the man on the motorcycle, however, the man saw the car. He took evasive action laying his bike down to protect his body, although, he was too late. The motorcycle and the BMW collided, and instantly, a pipe burst on the bike, sending it aflame near the front of the car. AKA-the engine!

The individuals who saw the accident; students, construction workers, and people who pulled off the side of the road, rushed immediately towards the accident. The man on the motorcycle faced the weight of the BMW on top of his body. He was trapped. The people around decided to take action of their own, and about 15 people PHYSICALLY LIFTED A 4,000 POUND BMW OFF of the young man, and PULLED HIM OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE CAR AND THE FLAMES!!

He was in intensive care all night, however, he is recovering quickly. The news said that he remembered everything that happened, and that he would try to speak, but no words came out. As soon as he starts progressing more, he plans on thanking all of those who saved his life.

"He knows that there are angels out there that saved his life, people came together, and risked their lives to save him," his uncle said to the cameras.

This story has really made me think about how I believe that there are heroes out there. They don't have to be Superman. Anyone can be a hero, and anyone can save a life. I would hope that in that type of situation, I can be an instrument in the Lord's hands to save a life. I know that the Lord was watching out for that young man, and that the people who saved his life were inspired and strengthened to know how to do it!

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=17226344

The Art of Letting Go

2010-10-28T13:31:00.000-07:00

True love doesn't have a happy ending, because true love never ends. Letting go is one way of saying I love you.

I created this project for my Creative Arts class earlier this month. The soul reason behind the painting was someone really dear to my heart. In the painting, I painted the silhouette of a girl letting go of an eagle with a bright yellow sun in the background. The girl represents me in this particular situation, letting go of Elder Steven Brent Tebbs (the eagle) who has now spread his wings and is broadening his horizons for the will of our Heavenly Father. At the time when I was brainstorming this idea, Steven had been gone for 3 months already, and I miss him dearly every single day. Therefore, I decided to paint my feelings, and it came down the the simple action of letting him go. Letting him grow, while allowing myself to grow and gain the experiences I need to in order to be the woman he deserves someday.

A wise person once said, "We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us." I realize that 2 years is a long time, especially when I am dating and enjoying myself in college. However, I know with all my heart that because I have these 2 years to prepare for a future life with him, I will work hard and be blessed. I love Steven. And because I love him, I have to let him go for now. It is not easy, trust me. But I believe that dating others and hanging out with good people will prove to me even more that Steven is the one for me.

On the other hand, this painting can mean anything you want. Like someone who has an addiction, the eagle being their drug or bad habit, or someone who has gotten their heart broken or hurt by someone and is in need to forgive. I don't believe that I necessarily created this painting for just one purpose (however my main purpose was for Steven). You can make what you want out of it. But letting go has been one of the hardest things for me in my life time, and I feel that with the Lord's help, I am finally mastering.... The art of letting go.

"Aha!" Moments

2010-09-21T20:52:00.000-07:00

There are always those moments in life where something happens and you realize that you need to be going in a different direction, or continue down the same path. Then you think to yourself, "Aha! I understand now." Yes, I had one of those moments last night, however, it was done so in my subconscious.

I dreamed that I was in a professional tennis tournament, and that I was the underdog. I was frustrated that I kept on losing, and went to seek out the help of a professional tennis player who I knew would give some helpful advice. Rafael Nadal. I had a pencil in my hand for some reason as I sneaked into the players lounge. There he was, standing talking to a couple of other men players in the tournament. As I walked up to him, I noticed that within myself, I was fighting an internal battle of whether or not I really wanted this. I then stood right in front of him.

"Excuse me, Rafa, can I ask you a very important question?" I asked him.

"No reporters. Leave." He replied. I had no idea what he was talking about till I realized that I was holding a pencil in my hand. So, I shoved it into my pocket, and looked at him again, feeling really small.

"I am not a reporter. I came in here because I am lost, and I need your help finding my way back." He stood there looking at me, then started walking towards me. I kept on walking backwards as he got closer and closer to me. Before I realized what was going on, I was backed up into a fence.

"What is your question?" He asked.

"How do I learn to love it again? I keep losing, and I am so sick of it. I knew I could come to you because I see the way you play, and I can see in your eyes that it's your passion." I responded. He looked at me, then moved even closer into my face. I turned away. He said to me, "You don't love it, but you have to do what it takes."

Then the scenery switches. I am on stadium court, people all around watching me play. Among those was Rafa, analyzing my every move. I dove for shots, I gave my all, and I had blood running off of my body from the scrapes and cuts. In the end, I still lost. However, as I sat there, overcome with emotion, Rafa walked up to me, in front of everyone and said, "You gave your all. You put in the work, and that is a winner to me." And we embraced while the crowd cheered.

I woke up and had the "Aha!" moment. Things were suddenly very clear.

A New Beginning

2010-09-19T15:42:00.001-07:00

From school, to tennis, to friends, to family, my life continues to grow. My character is being built, and I truly love life with a passion! I always have this burning desire to be the best at everything, but God loves me enough to humble me every now and again, by showing me that I just cant win everything. Haha :)

I'll give you an example, the other day my team and I traveled to BYU to play in an invitational. I lost. As a matter of fact, lost doesn't quite do it justice. I got DESTROYED. Therefore, I am not the best in that aspect of life. It bothers me, however, because I work really hard. Which brings me to the humbling part, my mother told me, "Whit, tennis is a metaphor for life."

I thought, "Gees, thanks Confucius." However what she was meaning to tell me, actually made sense. The ups and downs of the sport can relate to the ups and downs in life, relationships, and... school. Cant forget about school.. ever. Anyways, each point in the game symbolizes each point in my life. Things flow, points end, victories are presented, or the loses make you stronger. Amen to that!

But tennis isn't the only "metaphor" for life. It can be anything, but I always remember that life is but a climb, and you know that if you have the faith in God to move mountains, you better not be surprised when He hands you a shovel. :)

Flashback!

2010-08-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

Wow! I must say, it has been FOREVER since I have posted! These last 4 months have been a total whir wind! Things, events, and memories have seriously flown by. Just a recap of what went down this summer:

1. I met the LOVE of my life, Steven Brent Tebbs!
2. I lost my best friends.
3. I lived with my dad, which hasn't ever happened (not for that long) since the divorce.
4. My mom went to jail.
5. I gained a new best friend, who then kissed my younger sister. He's almost 23 and she's 16. Ya. But we've worked things out, and are rebuilding our friendship now.
6. Did a lot of longboarding and wakeboarding.
7. Traveled to Price, Las Vegas, and St. George.
8. Coached a little league tennis team, and played tennis.
9. Watched the love of my life leave me for 2 years! :(
10. Watched a meteor shower on a trampoline.
11. Moved back up to Logan.
12. Lovin' life here with my friends and rooomiess!! :)

I am really looking forward to this school year! Oh yeah for sophomore year! :) However, it's not going to be easy for me. With my class schedule, as well as my tennis schedule, I'm looking at a very, very busy school year. I have to admit, I am a little nervous. I am nervous about my teammates, I am nervous about my tennis and fitness levels (if it's not good enough), I am nervous about my friendship with Blake that is teetering on ice, and I need to fix my relationship with my little sister, eventually... I'll figure it out! And the great thing is, I don't have to do things alone! Heavenly Father is there to help me! :) Thank heavens!

Waiting

2010-07-11T16:03:00.001-07:00

I have been without my missionary for 5 days now, and already, I have come to learn so much! It has been a little more difficult then I anticipated because I don't have much support, don't get me wrong, I have 2 friends and my parents that support me, but thats it. I realized that I sacrificed a lot for love. Yes, I love my missionary. Words cannot express how I feel when I am with him. And what's even more attractive about him is that he is gone for 2 years, serving the Lord. Elder Steven Brent Tebbs is my best friend, and the love of my life. I am grateful for this opportunity to wait for him, and I am excited for our future together. Whether I am with him or not, I never question his love for me. It's real. I am forever grateful to my heavenly father.

Twitterpated

2010-06-01T15:26:00.000-07:00

i feel like a little girl again.
this feeling i feel inside.
he brings out the best in me.
i cannot hide the smile that comes across my face.
it is constantly there.
everytime i think of him.
i feel like i might burst of excitement everytime he comes over.
he makes me feel so good about myself.
the way he looks at me...
the way he holds me...
i dont dare let go!

I've Been Waiting For Today!

2010-05-18T23:23:00.001-07:00

I have come to realize that only one person reads my blog haha :) Gentri, you are amazing, and you are my best friend. Thank you for all you do for me. Love you, babes!

However, that is not all I've come to realize lately. I have found it necessary that I should focus on loving, and truly loving myself. Despite all of my short comings, I know that in order to find love, I will need to be patient. And I do believe that I have come a long way in loving myself again. I have no one else to thank but that of my Savior! I feel so blessed lately, and will continue to do so as long as I live. Thank heavens life is meant for mistake making, laughing, and finding love.

I hope that as I continue to be a virtuous daughter of God, the man I'm supposed to find, is preparing to spend eternity with me, and to devote his life to the Lord. I will wait till I find him. No excuses.

Another thing I need to work on is laughing more. I know that the people who know me, know I laugh alot, however, there can never be too much laughter! :)

Being Home

2010-05-16T23:26:00.001-07:00

I realized that my last post was a little negative, and condesending. Therefore, I have decided to give an update on the current moment. Bed. Yay! Being home, well sort of, is great and comfortable! Anyway... Shout out to Gentri, and my new friend Tyson for being awesome! Oh, and shout outs to my ninja kamakazi buddies!!! :) Good good work! That is all.

Jk. I'm making brownies tomorrow, and they will be LEGIT! haha I don't think the post has a meaning... alright. I've accepted that. Moving on.

Over and out.

I hope you die, Maximus!

2010-05-11T20:08:00.000-07:00

This is a peice of my life that I can never get straight. And I am going to take a second to blog about him, and how horrible he has been to me. His name is Maximus, yes. Maximus. I named him after my favorite character in my favorite movie, Gladiator. Don't worry, this car is decieving. He likes to pretend he's heathy and good, until his motor plays dress up and all of the sudden, the head gasket is blown or whatever. Oh, he also cant see straight or something, and because of this horrible alignment, his tires are about to blow. Yay. He's got a mustache, and a nice looking scar on his front bumper. Some people say he's got leapercy (or however you spell it). Others say it's just acne. I don't care what it is, he's ugly.

The reason these last two pics are of my mirror, is because some idiot opened his rear passanger door while I was pulling into a parking space. IDIOT! Can you not see that Maximus and I are coming?? HELLO! Needless to say, I am still battling this with our insurance companies. Hence why I have these pictures.

In the end, I've learned something. NEVER BUY A CHEAP CAR! I don't think many people understand this concept, however, I warn you now. You think you make a smart purchase, and in the end, you end up getting heartbroken and wanting to punch babies! Seriously.

Maximus will soon rest in peace. I wanna take him off roading... I think I just might... Hmm... Don't tell my parents ;)

A Poet's Photography

2010-05-03T20:45:00.000-07:00

This is a photoshoot that took place last week, and our good friend, Annaliesa Poet, took the photos. She is incredible!!

I love this picture. The shadow in the background, and the guitar! Wow, just love it!

This photo reminds me of Charlies Angels!

My Number One Fan

2010-04-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

This here is my Daddy. Studly man, right? Yes. He has been the best supporter of my life, and for a lot of my life, I pushed him away. Yet, he still loved me anyway.

Growing up, I never realized the damage and hard ships that this man most likely went through, because of me. I took his love for granted, and honestly regret many harmful things I said to him. However, to my great pleasure, I am extremely proud to announce that this man, MY FATHER, is my best friend. We talk every day, and I feel like I finally can forgive myself for things of the past. He was never angry at me, although I know that I hurt him deeply. He was just trying to be a good dad.

He is the best man I know. I do not know what I'd do without him, or where I would be. He has been behind me every step of the way, supporting my tennis, school, choice in men (as of lately haha), church, friends, and whatever else that may need supporting. He taught me what it means to be a child of God, a daughter of Zion. He really helped me open my eyes to a new way of life, and in a way, I felt the prayers he must have said in my behalf when I was going through a tough time.

I love you daddy, soo much. I always know I can count on you for anything, and I proud myself in calling me your daughter. I wouldn't have it any other way. Your testimony of the true Gospel, your love for God and our family is the greatest gift you can show me/teach me. I can't wait till you're 98 and still kickin, because you are a man of steel! Hahah a football stud through and through. :) Thank you, Kevin Ray White, for being my number one fan.

Consider Yourself Warned

2010-04-10T01:19:00.001-07:00

When you are a college student, usually you are focusing on an education and creating opportunities for future careers. When you are a student athlete, like me, you have to focus on that, plus weight training, conditioning, and practice. But what happens when you have no more responsibilities? When classes are done for the weekend, and you have time to unleash the built up angst and energy? Well, let me enlighten you on the "behind the scenes" in my life:

*Nerf Gun Fights.

A hot commodity within my group of friends. We tend to ambush simpletons walking in the hallways of the dorm. My good friend, Annaliesa, who I'm sure I will talk about later, owns 2 bigger nerf guns, and a hand nerf gun. Haley, who I will also speak about later, owns a hand gun. With those 4 guns, you better believe that we have some pretty heated battles. Immature? I think not.

*Poker

Mind you, living and growing up in Vegas, you would think I would have known how to play beforehand. No. You are mistaken. I had no clue how to play until a month ago, and am still learning the ropes. I am what you call a "stupid poker player". Trying to win a hand off of a bluff all the time. Sometimes I will get a lucky hand, and actually know what is going on with the flop. A lot of times, I lose. I don't have a strategy. I just whip it out there haha. However, I am getting better. We usually play teams. The guys in our group vs. the girls. We play for bets, favors, whatever you wanna call it. For example: Dinner, massages, movie nights, riding the elevator up and down 15 times etc. It's great fun. We also had a Casino Night the other night for our LLC community, dorms, and it was pretty awesome. Poker, black jack, raffles and more. Except there was this Asian guy who seriously went from table to table winning hands, and taking everyones chips! Later I found out from some of my friends, that he was counting cards. Brilliant Asian people, I swear.

*Marketplace Adventures

For us poor college students who live in the LLC, we are required to have a meal plan. Since I have a full ride, I have an unlimited meal plan. Besides the point, anyways, being at the Marketplace is a great way to socialize, flirt, and even start fights. Use your imagination. Bottom line, it's a great way to satisfy your hunger, and get a social life in. We usually all show up around the same time, and sit at a table together. Some of the topics of our lunches and dinners: Texas vs. California (gets pretty heated), the fake marriage of Travis and Haley, an april fools day prank in which brownies were made with ex lax and given to the men of our group, upcoming parties and events, and much more. We are never board.

*Owl Eyes

This is a game I have come to learn, and quick. It consists of a person basically making "owl eyes" with their upside down hands over their face. It's hard to describe. The opposite person either looks at them, without blocking, and dies for ten seconds where ever they are. They have to lie down on the spot. However, if a person blocks it, then they're safe. Blocking consits of putting one hand infront of your face straight up and down. Not so your palm is covering your face, you turn it sideways so it basically touches the tip of your nose. I've died a lot.

If I can think of more, I will add more later, but as of now, that is all. When I am not super busy with tennis and school, these small treasures make life that much more enjoyable! I enjoy my friends, and the new traditions we have formed. We don't sweat the small stuff because we're too busy throwing the stuff in your face. You have to learn to be quick to hang out with us. If not, you'll find yourself being ambushed with hundreds of flying nerf gun darts. Consider yourself warned :)

Perfect-White-Shoe-Tentitive

2010-04-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

You know when you find the perfect pair of white shoes, and you want to wear them? However, you are afraid to mess them up or get them dirty? Eventually what happens is, they get dirty. This might be a horrible attempt at an analogy, but I want to focus on the tentitiveness in my life. This is something that I need to let go of, and become a more confident person. Instead of trying not to get the shoes dirty, I need to admire the beauty and enjoy the feelings the shoes give me. Perfect, that made sense in my head. So, I'm leaving it just the way it is. :D

I am going to compare the white shoes to relationships. Ironic? I think not. Because of past relationships, and events that occured to me in my past, I used to be an extremely insecure person. I say "used to be" because I feel like, with God's help, I have become a self-confident person, however, I still feel those tentitive insecurities jump out of the concealed box whenever I put myself "out there". I feel like in relationships, i.e. dating, I need to be perfect, happy, concerned, light, funny, sarcastic, witty, etc. This stresses me out, and in turn, makes me seem like a paranoid freak. Haha ok, that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it sounded funny.

Don't get me wrong, I am a happy, optimistic person naturally. I feel like life should be made light. But what happens when I find something that I like, and want to persue? Yes, I get perfect-white-shoe-tentitive. Tip toeing around all the puddles and dirty spots. Trying to always focus on the happy and put on a smile. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't. My insecurities are created within me, and I realize that.

I choose to go white shoe shopping, however, I choose not to allow tentitive insecurities dictate my social habits. I am lovely just the way I am, and nobody should be able to tell me otherwise.

Tuesday Adventures!

2010-04-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

Today is Tuesday! Seth is coming up tonight, and I am fantastically excited! We are planning on going to see Clash of the Titans, and hanging out! He is quite the joy to talk to, and we talk quite frequently. I gotta tell you, this guy is a breath of fresh air. I can tell that him and I are going to get along super well! It is quite refreshing!

And Seth, if you read this, know that I am grateful that I met you :D

2010-04-01T21:40:00.000-07:00

I have so many decisions to make in soo little time. I feel like I am constantly busy! Things up at Utah State are going great. I have met amazing friends, and I've met a guy, who I feel like I've instantly made a connection with. I love my calling as Ward Prayer coordinator, and tennis is going just fine and dandy. I am actually in California right now on a tennis escapade. We played Santa Clara University today, and lost dang it. However, tomorrow, we play San Jose University and Hawaii! They are actual conference matches, so they are important to say the least.

I am a little stressed out about how this summer is going to play out... I don't have a job lined up anymore, which I thought I would have, and for the month of May, I am not sure where I am going to live or HOW I will be getting around. Things will present themselves, I'm sure of it. God will take care of me! If I live what's right, which I am! :D Therefore, I need not worry.

But if anyone has ideas for a job, please don't hesitate to share:)

Colors Festival

2010-03-29T11:24:00.000-07:00

From left to right: Annaliesa, Haley, Mitch, Jessie, Me, and Brit! This pic was after we had wiped off a lot of the chalk already. So the guy on the very right side, by Mitch, crashed our photo!! Haha we went back to review the pictures, and started laughing hysterically because he was soooo sneaky!

Bravo Sir.

We all looked way worse before everyone threw their chalk. Once everyone in the area threw the chalk, we turned kinda just brown, dirty looking.

Like a Boss! Taylor, that one is for you.

Jared and I! Haha, he was crackin me up almost the whole time! Jared- you're awesome!

This is the Temple for I don't know which religion... Um... It was a Hare Krishna festival, if I spelled that right... Look at all the people! And that's nothin!

The girls and I once we got home! We all had such a great time! However, chalk got in my eyes twice, and it wasn't that little crap where just a little gets in there. People threw HANDFULLS of chalk in my eyes.

SPARTAN'S, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION!? OUWOO! OUWOO! OUWOO! hahaI don't remember the phrase, however, we were saying something in chinese.

Annaliesa and I. Oh the fun times we will have!

Jared and I were dancing to the Hindu rock band, or something. :) He totally showed me up with his moves.

Before the chalk was thrown! Look how happy we are not to have the Purple Lung yet haha.

Jared gave me his glasses because two different people threw chalk right into my eyes, two different times. It was redonculous!

In the end, it was soo much fun. I won at poker against the ladies, we went to the color festival, I got to be with greatttt friends that I love, we had a great time killing each other with owl eyes, and concluded with a really fun hang out with Mitch and his buddies in Clearfield. We went to Applebee's and watched the Blindside! I love that movie. Anyways. I just thought I would share my experience with who ever reads this :)

Over and Out.

Aggie Tennis Retreat

2010-03-22T12:03:00.000-07:00

Tennis is a individual sport, however, off the court we're regular people. Normal, anti-social people. We don't get out much........ haha psyche! As demonstrated from the picture below, us girls, are way too social for our own good. Pro tennis time! Isner vs. Nadal, Roddick vs. Lubjcich, and so forth. Good, Good day! Oh, and don't forget about Tsonga's loss! Haha our friend, and assistant coach, Lukas, was not NOT happy.

Our men came along, mostly for a relaxing vacation. They played against Cal Polly the last day we were there... Ya it's best if we don't bring that match up.... hmm. However, we all had a great time at the beach, and we have been able to bond and get to know each other better :)

I find it rather facinating that when you're on a team, you can think of the craziest things to do. Wild imaginations.. look out! This is called SKILL!

Overall the trip was a success, except for the losses, and the car rides. If I could do it over again, I would.

Now it's time to go back to school. Time to focus.... Nah.

Poker Nights and Drag Queens

2010-03-08T15:23:00.000-08:00

Poker Nights are a hot commodity with my group of friends here at Utah State. Let me tell you, if you lose, you are more then likely wishing you were never born. Yes, it's that serious. Or not serious, haha, based on the pictures, you can decide. Annaliesa-the girl front row center with the blue ice skating outfit- posted these pictures on facebook. She titled the album, "Don't lose at poker or you might turn into a drag queen." It's only fitting. The guys lost, of coarse. So we did their make up, that was part of the bet if they lost. I actually wasn't there for that bet, however, I still got to help with the make-overs. Shannell and I were the only one's who looked somwhat normal that night. We had a really good laugh the entire night.

For me, I was able to sit back and relax, knowing that I had lost no bets. Wait, that is a lie. We lost in poker one night, and couldn't text for a whole week! That was hard, and only lasted about 4 1/2 days. Haha :D I have been enjoying my time with these friends of mine, which makes life wayy more bareable these days.

That is Annaliesa in the background. Pretty funny, and Chris, well, let's just say he is a natural woman. He seriously flaunted his stuff all night, and I think he said people have disowned him now or something like that. Haha, oh Chris. Ohh! Another thing we did to him last night, is we took his wallet, took the important stuff out of it, and froze it in plastic baggies, with water, in the freezer. I haven't heard yet if he's found out, so I guess we'll see! haha.

There are some things that everyone has to consider at one point in their lives. 1-You have to be in touch with your feminine/masculine side every once in a while. 2-Don't bet with us ladies, or you will turn into the opposite sex. 3- If you're looking for a fun, good time, call us. And 4-Just relax and enjoy the ride.

My Newest Dream!

2010-03-04T21:18:00.000-08:00

This is it! I just finished a book for my English class called "Barefoot Heart". Needless to say, I am inspired. Inspired to write a memoir of my life, of my experiences with people, so on and so forth! It is going to be a great deal of time before it's finished because Heck! I am only 18! I have alot more to experience, however, I am still going to start while childhood memories, and recent memories are still fresh.

This book truly inspired me, and I connected with it immediately. It was a story of a Migrant Child, and how she overcame being a poor, less than, useless mexican girl. I want to write and inspire others the was Elva Trevino inspired me!

Please share any memories, experiences, or whatever you can think of that happened with me or that you know of! Thank you!

Dreadful Ice Baths

2010-03-03T21:42:00.000-08:00

Everyone faces a trial at some point in their lives. Some of these problems happen in the blink of an eye. This opening sentense was an "attention gabber". I am not sure how effective it was, maybe I should have done something like, "SPLASH!" Yes, this first story involves water. Extremely frigid water. Water that is used when athletes have to release tension in muscles, tendons, or other parts of the body. This water is evil for the first 3 minutes, then you go numb, and can't feel a thing. Back to the story.

I was waist deep in this ice bath, which isn't a bath, it's a mini pool, besides the point. I had a towel around my upper body because I was frost bitten sitting in that water for 15 minutes. It was after facility hours, so there were no workers there, however, there was one other girl in the ice bath with me. She only had one solidary foot in the water. I thought to myself, "she has it easy!" I avoided eye contact due to my focus being entirely on the loss of feeling in my lower body. She looked at the clock and saw that her time was over. So she began to stand up, using the pool's stairs for support. Bad idea.

It all happened so fast, that the next thing I knew was that I had to dodge out of the way of a belly flopping body! She had put all her trust in a NUMB FOOT on a slippery stair, lost balance, and hurled towards the icey depths of hell. So, she slips, I see her slip, I assess the situation, and hurry and move out of the way. Her face was hysterical! I cannot put it into words, so I will let you decide how it went... It looked something like this:

kahsdofhadnbvknasdklfh aodisfhkjasndf hasdfhjlasd fuiyhasdfkhjalsdkhf lahikjsdf hasdhgfjbdsofh hfasdifha sdfiohasdhf asdfihasdhfhasdfhasdfhuwerubbnxlcvnklxchjvouqgenwe
2qeroiweoijkjasdhfouiaghsdofhw43ye8r0u23wirhweuiohgf

Ya, freaking funny! She belly flops into the ice. I stare at the girl, who has now frantically scrambled out of the ice tub, in a heap of drama filled shizzerness. I felt bad for laughing at her out loud, but could I help myself? No. I said, "That was unfortunate, I'm sorry." As I tried to help her further, she said "it's ok" and left! Great times. I sat there, enjoying the rest of my ice bath, thinking of how bad that would suck to be me... I am grateful that I was already waist down so that if I fell completely in, it wouldnt be that bad.

Breakthrough!!!

2010-03-02T23:24:00.000-08:00

Finally! The time I've been waiting for... The time where I've finally gotten into a grove up here at Utah State. I've finally made GOOD friends that I enjoy being around, my tennis is improving everyday (even my mental aspect), and I feel like I'm walking down the right path that my Heavenly Father wants me on. Breakthrough, breakthrough, and breakthrough.

It's crazy how you have to stick it out to see green pastures on the other side. And that's not with just this one instance. I am just so grateful to finally reliquish the fact that I hated it here. I most definitely do not, I am actually rather enjoying myself. I am constantly busy, and always on the move. I'm surprised I am even up right now; however, considering the fact that I just got home from disgracing myself at poker, I can see why restlessness would be present. We did boys versus the girls tonight. Girls lost. The bet was that we're not supposed to text for a week!! Ok, first of all, I don't even text that much anymore. Just a select few people. However, we lost, and there is no texting. Another breakthrough.

I went to our home basketball game, and we've won 23 straight games! We're actually really good, and if we win our conference, we'll be in MARCH MADNESS! That's what's up. I was standing next to my new friends, looking at all of the thousands of people that were present. I was astounded when I noticed how many people could chant, scream, and yell the same thing, at the same time, so it sounded like Zeus's voice coming from above! "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" They would yell, and point their fingers at the victimized player of the opposing team who missed the shot or caused a foul. Another one of my favorites was when we were killing them by 40 points with 8 min left, and all the students, including me, started mocking Fresno by cheering for them... Complete disrespect, total lack of class, however, I loved them for it! I loved the cocky attitudes! Our team deserved it.

I've been rambling wayy too long tonight. I just have lots of stories to tell! I hope people read this, because I like it when people know what is going on in the world of Whitney Hope White. I have some rather hilarious stories to tell... My next one, key word, is when I saw this girl belly flot into an ice bath. NOT ON PURPOSE! Really funny, my heart ached for her for a couple minutes, then back to laughter. Anyways, love you! Good night my friends!

Love,
Shimmy Spike, aka whitney.

Ramble Nonesense Blah Blah Blah

2010-03-01T08:06:00.000-08:00

Things are finally turning around! I am enjoying the new friends I am making, still working hard with my tennis, failed my first unit of Dynamic Fitness (in my defense, it was an online class, and I had no concept on how to work it! Now I do...), and am loving church and institute! I like being on a more positive note, and I am rather enjoying actually going to sleep without crying haha! :) Good day!

So today, I am all dressed up. I want to start this week out right. I wanna look good, and in turn, feel good. It's a new tactic I am going to try, and if it works, I guess I will be getting ready alot! I usually wear sweats because practice is in the middle of the day; however, I feel like if this is the key to starting a day off good, then I might just do it more! I've now become successful about rambling about nothing! Good. Moving on.

I am trying to decide what to do for the summer. I have the opportunity to move to Las Vegas to work on my tennis, and I have an automatic job coaching tennis, or I could move to Kamas with my mom, and get personally trained, and play a million tournaments... The details are varied with each one, but I need to figure out what is going to get me ready for next season... I guess I will figure it out. Anyways, I have a history class here in about ten minutes I need to get to.

Over and out.

Dreams

2010-02-16T17:48:00.000-08:00

I had a dream last night. Sometimes, my dreams seem so real, that when I wake up, I actually think it happened. Last night's dream was so real, I could have sworn it happened before. But like all dreams, it came to an end. My heart longed for it to stay, but with no success. It went like this:

I was in the kitchen when he, for the sake of the story he will remain nameless, approached me.

You whisper my name. I close my eyes, and for a moment, you are there. You smile at me; your beautiful eyes illuminate the darkness. You brush your fingers across my face, whiping the tears that managed to escape down my cheek. I feel the warmth of your skin, and long to keep you here. You tell me that you miss me, and that everything will be alright. Then I open my eyes. You are gone. I am alone in the kitchen, wondering why I felt the need to see him. I slid down the walls, and sat on the ground; head between my knees. I cried.

Even in my dreams, I think of him. I do not know the meaning of this dream, however, I realize that I need to move forward, but his tender smile, his loving eyes, continue to embrace my thoughts.

My next dream looked exactly like this picture. I was amazed that I even found it. Yes, I googled it. In this dream something amazing happened. I walked up to this tree, and to my amazement, I find writing on the bark. I cannot read it. I look around and see that this tree is all alone in a neverending field of grass. The breeze was peaceful. I look back at the bark, and notice that the writing has changed. All I know about the writing is that it was important information that I was not to forget, and I had to tell someone about the tree!

Then I woke up. Haha. I don't know what significance the tree has, I just thought it was really cool that I found a picture that looked exactly like my dream. So, I had to blog about it. My first dream, however, means something to me. A great deal of somethings. I wonder when I will ever be able to let him go...

Through Thick & Thin

2010-02-09T21:02:00.000-08:00

There are some things in life that are priceless. Family is one of them. I don't get to see mine very much, once a month, if I'm lucky; however, I love them very very much. Each member has taught me something different at one time or another.

This daughter of God is my little sister Kayla Shay. She is 15, almost 16 :) and she is a survivor. I will never forget the day I almost lost her. She is so special to me, and I look up to her so much. Physically I look up to her as well, haha, she's not so little anymore! Kayla kicks butt at tennis, and has one of the best voices I've ever heard! She is a woman with many talents. This is Hannah, my lovely step-sister! We share the same birthday, I thought I would just throw that out now because it's one of the coolest things ever! She is 16, and is becoming a "Deeksha Blessing Giver"! Deeksha is her religion, and it is her peace. Hannah is also very dear to me. We've gone through so much, experienced many hardships, and had many laughs together. I miss her, but she knows that I love her so much.

This is the White-Matthews gang! From left to right it goes: Gentry (who I will tell you more about in a sec), Kayla, Hannah, Myself, Zachary, Jantzen, and Daisy (on the floor). Christmas time in Ephraim, 2008!

This is my mother, Julie. She taught me to be a hard worker. She taught me to never give up during the hardest trials. She also taught me to love, really love, people, and to always see the good in them. I am blessed to have a mother that loves me, and that works super hard towards giving me the best possible life. I look up to her. She is strong. She has trials, but hey, we all do. That is the beauty of relationships with ourselves and others. This picture of her was taken in Africa. The little kids loved her, and not because she gave them free candy, haha, mom.

Oh, dad! Hahahahaha everytime I see this picture, I laugh. Everytime my dad talks to me, takes me out to get food, or whatever, he makes me smile! His name is Kevin, and he is the BEST dad in the world! Wow! He has supported me through thick and thin. Words cannot express my gratitude towards this man. He has been an inspiration to me in several ways. He is a very hard worker as well, and has taught me the most important thing in my life, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He has supplied hope in my life, and I know that he will always be there for me. I love my father sooo much!

This is my darling, little sister, Gentry. Wow, this little one is so special. Even from the time she was born, she was also a survivor. She is a blessing in my life. Her spirit is so tender, her smile so loving. Everytime I see her, I just wanna squeeze those cute little cheeks! She is a talented writer and a superstar softball player! She is the definition of ANGEL. I love and miss this little thing so very much!

New York City with the fam! My step mom, Tessa, has been such a blessing not only in my life, but more my dads. I am grateful he was able to find such a sweet, kind, adventurous lady! Tessa has taught me how to live a little. (i.e. girls camp, and Tess, you should know what I am talking about haha) She is a hard core fly fisherlady, and rocks at it! I love her. She has been a great support in my life, and in the life of her own children. I've seen the devotion she puts into her children, and it makes me happy!

I am coming to a close. All in all, I wouldn't be anyone without the love, kindness, and sincerity of my family... I am who I am today because of each and every single person.

My family means everything to me! I feel like it has taken me such a long time to figure this out, and that makes me sad. However, I've been making up for lost time! I want to show the world the amazing members of my family! I want everyone to know how much they mean to me, and the fun times we all share. I've learned so much as I've been up here at USU, and one of those things is that family is ALL you have. End of story.

The Light In The Darkness

2010-01-27T22:29:00.000-08:00

I am ending my night. I was walking home just barely, in the arcane fog of Logan, Utah. You honestly look out into the distance and there becomes such a thing as Visual Isolation. It's like a dream, like you have landed on a place where you are the only person on the face of the planet. No city lights, not a sound exists. It is composed. I walk silently, the ice crunching underneath my feet. The echo of the lacerating ice off the walls of the buildings around me, increases with every step. I pause and take in my surroundings. "Not much to take in honestly" I think to myself. I walk towards a road that secretly wraps around a bend, and you can usually overlook the city. All I saw was fog. Then, as I sat, reminiscing over thoughts of my life, I beheld a miracle. The most glorious sight that surely comes from God. It's lights shone through the fog, and the beams reached the heavens. I recognized the image instantly. God's creation, the Logan Temple.

Such a sight was breath taking, and I instantly wanted to share what I had just witnessed with the world! (As a sidenote: I will try and paint this visual someday, however I do not think I will be able to do it justice.) It was incredible! You honestly could not see one other city light, and there is the temple, elucidating the hill of which is sits upon.

For that moment, I had no care of anything of the world.

All I had was gratitude for the life I am living. Recognition for the glory of God in all things, the creation of beauty, true light. Such significance, I cannot put into words. My life resembles this moment, in so much that I now realize that I have a spirit that can shine through the fog, illuminate the maisma of others, and through my Heavenly Father, be a missionary, an example to those who seek the truth through the gloom of life's obstacles. I am doing it every opportunity I get up here in Logan. I've met people who know it's true, but are afraid of what could be if they chose that path. I am here to let them know they need not fear. Fear is the absence of God.

I have to admit, I went for a long walk because I was sad. Sad that my friends back home are having a great time, all being together, taking pictures, posting them on Facebook, and still "living" their lives without me. AS THEY SHOULD. I just miss them, and I know that I shouldn't be discouraged. They know that I have supported them with everything, and as much as it is hard for me to see that because I am gone, they are not going to stop doing what they're doing. Haha that sounds really selfish. However, if I didn't feel this way, I feel like I am basically saying, "Oh, those times meant nothing to me." Which obviously isn't true.

However, now, I look at those things, and then I visualize the spectacular sight of God's Holy Temple. The comparison of my feelings beforehand, then the aftermath, could not even be called a comparison. I felt happy for them, and for the times they have together. I no longer felt abandoned. I have always known that eveything happens for a reason, and I am here for a reason. Whether it's to play tennis, get an education, meet a future husband, or be an influence on a mass of people in the goodness of God, I do not know. At the end of the day, and I literally have to take it day by day, I reflect and realize that I accomplished something. I did a good deed for someone, and I worked hard. I am then rewarded with the compelling image of the temple, and therefore know, that I am loved by God. Blessed by Him in knowing that he understands my pain, heartache, and struggle. He blessed me tonight with the knowledge of "Everything will work out the way He has planned for me" and I trust Him. I am grateful for His willingness to love me, to allow His Son, Jesus Christ to atone for my sins, so that I can be pure before the judgement seat of God. I know that Jesus Christ is the Son of our Living God. I know that through service, whether to God, or to a neighbor, you will recieve blessings, and become happy. I know that as you read your scriptures, everything in life becomes a canvas full of bright and beautiful colors, and your knowledge of the truth will never cease to grow.

Your light can shine through the fog. He has faith in you. He begs you to follow Him. All you have to do is take a moment out of your life, and listen. He is waiting. I say these things, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Fellowship of the Unashamed

2010-01-24T14:30:00.000-08:00

Re-evalutaion.

I have been placed on this earth to do something amazing. I can feel it, and I know it. I feel it everytime I do an act of service for someone, I feel it when I tell my family and friends I love them. I know that I can be a light, and a tool that the Lord can use to bring out his good works. I wrote a poem.

"In the whispers of the gentle evening,
He who quiets the sorrows of my soul.
By the stars that guide me in my leaving,
Together His heart and love make me whole.
Who am I to be the one to wonder,
For I am not to ever be alone.
All in gracious awe I stay to ponder,
Of His preparation for me, a home.
How, as small as I, to ever measure,
To earn the love He always proffers me.
May I learn to set aside my pleasures,
That hold me from my capability.
For my strength is His and he is waiting,
By stars and Dreams His love is calling me."

Sometimes I get sad, frustrated, or unhappy. However, I know I am never alone. I know that I am loved, even to the extent that I know that God loves me so much that He forgave me of all my shortcomings, and continues to forgive me. I know that as I continue to push forward through the mud, that it will eventually dry up, and I will be walking on dry ground, stablility, and happiness. Things may not always work out the way you want, and life is always changing. New enviroment, new people, new expectations, however in the end, change is benificial to growth. I welcome change, I look at change as an opportunity to grow, and to learn!
I love the words of Dr. Bob Moorehead when he states:

"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The dye has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made; I am a disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tainted visions, worldly talking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need pre-eminence, positions, promotion, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right first, recognized, praised, regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, and my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, comprimised, deterred, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of the adversary, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up, until I have stayed up, stared up, and paid up for the case of Christ. I must go 'til He comes, give 'til I drop, preach 'til all know, and work 'til He stops me. And when He returns for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."

I have put myself here, I am striving for exellence! I know that through Christ, I can do all things. I can be happy.

This is the Fellowship of the Unashamed. I am apart of a great work. Will you take the couragous road? Will you come and join me in this wonderful adventure I call life? Will you rise with me to create a world of truth? I can't do it alone, and I know God is on my side. Become part of this Fellowship, create better for yourself.

Re-evaluation... Turned into Creation.

Do Hard Things

2010-01-22T21:00:00.000-08:00

Man, I have to admit, college isn't all that I thought it would be. Sitting at home on a Friday night isn't exactly ideal. I went to an Institute social, however, I was thoroughly disappointed. This may sound shallow, but when you're "speed dating" and a guy tells you he bases everything off french fries, you know that somethin ain't right! Or, when a guy dressed as a pirate starts screeming at you, "Ahoy mateys! Avast ye!" Ya, pretty weird. It's already been a hard enough night, and that just didn't help. Needless to say, I am in bed, writing on this blog, dreaming of a different situation. I miss home, my friends, my ward, and more. I miss my dog that my mom conviniently sold right as I got home last weekend. I am sad that this stupid weather, snow, keeps going and wont let Cowboy come up to see me. I was supposed to have a really fun weekend planned with him, I'm totally bummed. People are always saying, "It will pass" and you know what? It most likely will, but I guess I just need a moment to be brutally honest with myself.

I do hard things every day, but the hardest thing I have to deal with, and always had to deal with, is being alone. I hate it. I absolutely loath it! The reason I move a million miles a minute, always wanting to do things, is because I don't like not being busy. So, moving to college, not really having anything to do with anyone I really trust, is hard on me. I just wish this stage could pass by...

"Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... And It's All Small Stuff"

2010-01-20T21:40:00.000-08:00

I am reading the book "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... And It's All Small Stuff" by Richard Carlson. My coach gave this book to me as I started out my Freshman year of college. Somehow he must have been a fortune teller of some sort because it has been a major tool in my life as I've started out this new life. For the first little bit, I've been caught off guard with everything. I reacted to change more differently than I ever have before. Isolation. I am usually a social butterfly, full of life, full of excitement! However, by the end of my days, usually, I am completely wiped out. The reason I mention the book is because I kept losing when I would play a match. For me, that is difficult. I reacted to change. In the book, it speaks about overreacting.

"When we are immobilized by the little things-- when we are irritated, annoyed and easily bothered-- our reactions not only make us frustrated but actually get in the way of getting what we want. We lose sight of the bigger picture, focus on the negative..."

Because of my aggitation, I was letting small things stand in my way of winning a single match. Today, however, I could add a "W" to my record! "The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his or her life by altering their attitude." - William James.

As I move forward with this new life, I am learning patience. I am learning the tools I need for my future success, and I am always growing! Except the other morning I fell off the bed, which is 20 feet up in the air, I swear, and could have learned a better way of reacting to that. Or the time when I was too sore to get up onto my bed... the old run and jump technique. I'm sure you can imagine how that went. Anyways, my point is, that success isn't determined by the amount of trials placed in your life, but rather how you deal and react with those trials. Our reaction to life can either make the experience, or break it.

So, why not live the life you've imagined? Why not want success? I do. I am living it. I am working on it. And so can you!

The Infinite Power of Hope

2010-01-17T00:26:00.001-08:00

Lately, I have recently moved to Logan, Utah to attend Utah State. I am playing tennis up there, and quite frankly, at times I feel like I do not deserve my full ride. I work hard, but most of the time I'm conditioning or in weight training, I am praying to God asking him for the strength to keep going. I pray that I will catch my second wind... Ironic. That is how I feel with my life right now. There is one thing I know for sure, I am happy.

When I am happy, and when things are going really good, there is always this stupid thought in the back of my mind that says "Well Whit, things are going really good right now, what are you going to do to mess it up this time." Or my favorite, "things have been really great, but they wont stay that way for long." I find myself getting tried more and more while I've been trying to live my life right, and I have noticed that as I keep getting tried, I get stronger. I am strong. However, I must tell you, whoever you are, that I am tired. I am exhausted of always being so strong. I know it's necessary, and I will continue to be strong, but at times at night, when I'm laying in my bed, I just collapse and cry... But those times of despair, those times of unhappiness are but a small moment.

Recently, I've had the worst car issues. Haha and by worst, I mean horrible! It's actually really funny because the other day, I was driving through Sardine Canyon to Logan, right after I had to go to court for a car thing, and my car all the sudden went up into smoke! I immediately pulled over to the side of the road, and dashed out of the vehicle. I ran quite a bit away thinking that the car was going to explode! Hence, it did not. Maxy (Maximus is my car's name.) just went up in smoke, not flames, thank heavens! However, my phone had died, so I looked ahead of me. Lo and behold, a police man was a couple miles above me pulling someone over. I thought this was my only chance. I wont go into details, but I ended up calling a tow truck to get me into town because no one else would. I was alone in that crazy valley.

Now, this is the time where I've caught my second wind. I prayed to my Father in Heaven to give me the strength to make it through the hurt, make it through the hard times. Because let's face it, it's inevitable, we are always going to struggle in one way or another. If we didn't, how would be grow?? Anyways, my second wind is returning, and I've been able to make a fresh start. Don't get me wrong, I love and miss my life back home, however at times, I feel like I stated earlier, "whit things are going so good, you're going to mess it up." Which in some things before I left, I failed at miserabley, or I did "mess up". Those are the times when I should have gone to my Savior for help, which I eventually figured out. I always knew it, but I didn't do it right away. I have hope that Christ will always help me through my hard times, better yet I have faith. I know that I feel the way I do about others because I do care, I know that I love to serve others because it makes me happy, and I feel like God is happy with me too.

I wonder if after my second wind is through, will there be a 3rd, and a 4th, and a 5th? Yes, there will be all kinds of monsoons, winds, breezes in my life. There will also be trials, and I know I still gots lots of work to do, but I feel more and more confident each day that I will handle them with finess and grace.

Hope has the power to fill our lives with happiness. Hope sustains us through despair. hope teaches that there is reason to rejoice when all seems dark around us. too all who suffer and to all who are descouraged, never give in never surrender." -Elder Uchdorf

Hope has played a huge part in my life. I hope for things to happen in the future, I hope for happiness, but better yet, I hope that at least everyone will have the chance to feel the deeper understanding of Gods love for us. I know that I start to feel it more and more everyday! Anyways, I am tired and I have alot on my mind. wow. Good night!

Moving Forward

2010-01-02T13:29:00.000-08:00

I have recently learned a really hard lesson, and at the same time, it has been greatly beneficial. That is the beauty of trials. We can overcome them, with the Lord's help. I have nothing but gratitude towards my trials. Without them, I would not be the woman I am today, I wouldn't be able to gain a testimony of the Atonement, therefore, I am grateful. I love the Lord. In him my soul delight.

As we start the New Year of 2010, I have set some goals, and a standard for my life. My main focus is to develop a greater relationship with my Father in Heaven. I am not ashamed of Him or His Gospel, and I know that He wants me to always and forever come unto Him. He wants everyone to do that during trials and struggles and... well.... ALWAYS! :) Like I said before: I am so grateful for my life, grateful for my Lord, and grateful for everything else! I love this Gospel, and I know that if you turn to God for anything at all, and you have a sincere heart, God will help you work in ways that it is sometimes harder to do for yourself.

I love my friends, and family. I am sorry to those I have hurt, those who I love. I promise, that everything will work out the way it's supposed to. I am grateful for you. Grateful for your strength. Grateful for your mindfulness of the Savior. I love you. And I love my Father. I am grateful for his patience, kindness, and unconditional love.

In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior, Redeemer, and Brother,
Amen.

You Can Tell A Girl Wrote This: If Only Men Knew How...

2009-12-24T00:21:00.000-08:00

Here are a few reasons why guys like girls:

1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder

3. How cute they look when they sleep

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world

6. How cute they are when they eat

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while

8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth

11. How cute they are when they argue

12. The way her hand always finds yours

13. The way they smile

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after you just had a big fight

15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know that an hour later....

16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them

17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"

18. Actually ... just the way they kiss you...

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt. (even though we don't admit it)!

23. The way they say "I miss you"

24. The way you miss them

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn't hurt her anymore..... Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them ... it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, No paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart. A feeling. Only felt.

My Love Story

2009-12-19T21:18:00.000-08:00

It was a dark and mysterious night, while lightning struck the ground 20 paces East. Just kidding. It really didn't. But it was rather dark, and rather mysterious. Queen Gentri and I attended a young single adult FHE at Cornbelly's (a corn maze "slash" various other activities place). Little to my dismay, we met a couple of strappling young men. Ammon and Taylor. However, the turning point of where I knew that we'd all be friends was when Ammon was escorting Taylor around in a childrens wagon. Then it tipped over. And I laughed.

As the night went on, I couldn't help but look at this young man named Taylor. I was specifically drawn towards his butt (sorry Tay, I have to put it.) because he was wearing True Religion Jeans, which I can most definitely appreciate a guy with a good sense of style, eventhough I don't have one. At that moment, I knew that I had to invite him to hang out with us afterwards. Which we did. So, we went to Del Taco. Gentri, Renee, Someone else (I cannot remember for the life of me) Erik, Taylor and I sat at a back table and talked.

The subject about my age came up when Taylor asked, "So, when did you graduate?"

I used to avoid this question like the plague. However, I responded. "I graduate in December." Trying to avoid the follow-up question that always came.

He said "Oh wow. So, how old are you then?" I replied, "17." Then after that his face looked at me in disbelief. I wanted to jump up in the air and skidattle out of there. Like a rocket of sorts. But being the polite young lady that I am, I endured the pain, and ignored him. After dinner, we parted. I never thought I would see him ever again, and after that experience (which I didn't make a full account of) I wasn't sure I'd care. Yes, I was bummed.

A week later, I had become extremely ill. I still went to FHE despite my health. He was there. Him and his True Religions. CURSES! Why do I have a weakness for guys in hot jeans ;) ? Anyway, I noticed that he kept glancing in my direction. I swear it was not anything good, but not bad either. Just looking, and it made me more uncomfortable then I already was. After we said prayer, I got up and left. I do not remember how he came to hang out with us next, however, over time, we gradually became better and better friends. Taylor, Ammon, Gentri, Sierra and I traveled down to Zions one weekend. Yes, I had feelings for Taylor, but I pushed them wayyy to the left (or right or up or down. Whichever you prefer). Anyways, during Zions I accidentally through a box of pop-tarts at Tay's head.

---as a side note, I did not mean to actually throw it.

We hiked, flew kites, and played some dares. We also read scriptures as a family, and I shared some pretty confidential things with them about my life. When Taylor spoke about how much he appreciated me and all that I went through, my heart melted.

Days, weeks, went on, and our friendship continued to grow. He became my best friend. And remains so even today, and for the rest of my life! Over Thanksgiving, I was supposed to go to Vegas, but due to certain complications with my lovely mother, I decided I must stay behind in her lovely home with my lovely pup named Jager. ( I do love that dog with all my heart!) So, if you've ever been to my mom's home, you'd understand when I say that I think hobo's and killers live in her bushes. CREEPYY! Also, staying there by yourself is just a bad idea all around. Therefore, a couple of nights Tay said he'd stay with me. He took care of me. Protected me. We became closer. To the point where we knew that things were completely different between us. Again, I pushed it aside AND told him that all I wanted was to remain friends.

I lied. I knew that something else was there growing inside of me. Overtime, we started acting on it. I can remember, on Thanksgiving, we went to Blindside with Gentri and my family. During the movie, somehow our hands met. Skipping ahead, Park City. Him and I had a conversation in the hot tubs. Now this was MYSTICAL! Snow was falling all around us, as we sat in a very warm hot tub, talking. Talking about aspirations, and other things. We talked about kissing. And I knew that I was going to be the next girl he would kiss. I was right. Now, I wont go into any more detail, however, he is my prince, and I his princess.

He is the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I am eternally grateful to my Heavely Father for sending me such an amazing man. I had lost hope in love... He shows me love by being my best friend and partner. That alone makes me feel hopeful again. Who's to say where it shall lead, however, I need him. Whether it's just as friends or something more. Taylor inspires me, and I will be my best self for him.

Thank you Tay, and to my family and friends who support us.

Gratitude

2009-12-18T08:14:00.000-08:00

Buddah once said,

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful."

Gratitude is an attribute I've had a lot of lately. I have come to realize that although I've had somewhat of a rough life, I still have many amazing things to be grateful for. I am grateful for my Lord, Savior, Redeemer and Brother, Jesus Christ. As he has atoned for my sins, and the sins of the world, he suffered much. And to think, he did it for me! I am grateful for my family, even though not many of us are very close. However, I want to do whatever I can to be closer to them. I am grateful for my Step and Friend family. I'll talk about that more later.. The people who make up my friend family, I am wordless. I love you guys. You have inspired and loved me all throughout, and I am grateful.

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

Taylor, Gentri, Ammon, and McKenna. You guys are my best friends, and again, I am so thankful and fortunate to have you in my life.